Dating

The Post About Nothing And Everything

When I sit down to write for the internet to consume – whether it’s 1 reader or 500 – I’m deliberate with word choice and execution. However, today is one of those days where I need to let my heart speak. I have things that I’ve been wanting to share but have been waiting for the right moment or rather, the proper post do so.

I’ve grown a decent readership in the past few years so by all means if you’re expecting eloquence, you might want to ignore this 1 and head over to Medium for my latest piece.

So I’m currently embarking on a 40 day fast where I’m spiritually cleansing my life. It started after my pastor delivered a message where he spoke about reaching the point where you feel like you can’t take it anymore. If you’re interested in checking it out, you can watch it here. (Fast fwd to about the 15:00 mark)

There are parts of my life in need of a hard reset and purging. I don’t want to wait until the new year. I don’t plan on doing a recap or one of those “year of review” style posts so here it goes.

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5 Underrated Things Women Do For Men That Are Sexy

It’s still funny that the most popular post on this entire site is “5 Randomly Sexy Things I Love About Women”. I had no idea that so many men out here like back dimples. I don’t feel alone in my creepness anymore.

This past weekend, I did some thinking about the things women do as a normal part of their behavior in relationships. Women, as a gender, have quirks that make them sexy. Accents, their style of makeup, or even the food that they cook well can make a woman uniquely fit to be some man’s perfect girl.

I can obviously come up with way more than 5 based on my personal taste, but this a handful that really stuck with me.

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5 Types of Passive Aggressive Behaviors I Hate

At my age and the point I am in my life, things either are or they aren’t. I very seldom am a dweller of the “gray” area in relationships because I hate dealing with the unknown. When it comes to matters of the heart, logic is the strongest antagonist. But if you expect to become a victor (or to meet a mutually beneficial truce), there are certain contradictory approaches that you have to acknowledge are damaging to the dueling strategies.

Conceding Without Negotiating

1 of my greatest frustrations when it comes to any interpersonal relationship is when someone comes to the table knowing exactly what they want yet not willing to assert that desire. The art of negotiation is not for the meek or naivete. Finding the balance between fighting for what’s important to your greater good and fighting because you don’t want to lose is an internal David vs. Goliath. In most instances, you can amicably meet in the middle and get some of what you want without giving up all your leverage. The trick is in the delivery.

Stop lying

Waving the White Flag of Apathy

The more a person says they don’t care is clearly indicative of how much they actually care. It’s a defense mechanism that I practice myself so I know exactly how it works. If you tell yourself enough times, you hope that your mind will align with the actions you demonstrate. The hardest part is when you truly care, intent is hard to feign. Even the most stoic of men have a hard time putting their actions in line without a tinge of #whohurtyou.

Not Knowing When To Fold

Sometimes the root of our unhappiness is the inability to say “it’s over”. People do come in your life for a season and very few are meant to stay for a lifetime. But you also have to be mindful that the situations we put ourselves in are just as temporary.

Asking Questions You’re Not Prepared To Answer

In romantic relationships specifically, there are certain trigger questions where when posed, nothing good can come of it. Things like “where is this going?”, “why haven’t you called me all week?”, “who is Keiona?”, we all know the usual suspects. Here’s the thing; full disclosure works both ways. You can’t expect to be privy to the ins and outs of every aspect your interest’s life, yet not share yours. Should you volunteer information? Never. Although not only is it unfair, but it’s incredibly selfish to hide secrets or information that could effect the direction of the relationship.

Either say it wit’cha chest or STFU

Passive-aggressive behavior is extremely difficult to reason with because those kind of people can’t see past their nose. Arguing with them is futile and will cause you to turn crimson with rage. But they will slander you relentlessly from the rafters. With the invention of Twitter and FB, passive aggression is an every day observation. Instead of addressing their grievances with the offender who follows them/friends them, they make vague, ambiguous statements. The statements are positively received from everybody except the person who they’re directed at. 

Passive aggressive people are like ugly people. Everybody knows what they are but them. Their denial of their behavior is often masked by insecurity or aloofness. I find that your dating life will become so much easier and entertaining when you deal in absolute terms and allow your actions to reflect them. Don’t waste your time because you’re scared of rejection.