Be Your Woman’s Biggest Fan


When a man has a dream, a woman wants to do whatever is within her means to help make that dream come true. The problem is being a helpmate is usually to her detriment.

Single people argue talk a lot about potential. There aren’t a bunch of Barack Obamas and Stephen Currys walking around in the black community. That’s mathematically impossible. There is an abundance of Michelles and Ayeshas though. These people–celebrities that we hold as standards in terms of relationship desirability–seem to represent the extremes of potential. Obama is a double Ivy League graduate. Steph is the son of a professional athlete and he effortlessly shoots 3s from luxury boxes. They’re not accurate examples yet people cling to them as a way to measure potential in men.

To me, it makes more sense to look at the distance between point A to point Z. If you meet a man that you’re interested in enough to date, find out where is he on that spectrum. Point J, P, T? Has he even started? That’s a tangible way to estimate the likelihood of him even coming close to the dream he’s trying to sell you.

Women often put their dreams on hold while watching a man chase his. Women waste many good years waiting on a future that may never come to fruition.

People say you make time for what you want. However, I think life makes space for the things that are supposed to be there. If you have a dream that means that much to you, the universe will position you in the right place with the right people at the right time to make it happen.

Which is where support comes in.

When you have a supportive partner, life (and everything that comes with it) becomes exponentially easier.


Being your woman’s biggest fan doesn’t imply that her dream is more important or that yours is less realistic. What it really means is that you’re secure in your position as a man to sit in the bleachers for a while. That takes humility and putting your male ego to the side.

A lot of men have a problem with that; especially if it means your girl is also making more money than you. It’s hard to feel stuck trying to map out a path while you watch your girl excel at her career. As I’ve considered the dating landscape where I live and talking to dudes that I’ve met here, it’s common knowledge that many women here are ballin. Be that as it may, just because your girl is wearing the championship belt doesn’t mean she doesn’t still need you to hold things down.

I’m at a good place professionally. Since buying a house, saving money is actually easier. My costs are fixed now. I do know I don’t want to be keep working at this pace for too much longer. With more writing opportunities, I’m spending 10-14 hours on any given week solely on writing; that excludes conference calls, revisions, and spending time on Twitter for ideas and inspiration. Even at my age, I’m still ambitious as hell.

It’s always been a goal to work hard enough so that my wife wouldn’t have to. If my wife wants to work, her income is only extra.

But the fact remains that it’s important for my woman to have dreams of her own. I want to be able to listen to her talk with as much excitement about her ideas and goals as I talk about sports. I want to be able to genuinely support her without feeling like my $.02 is necessary.

If you love your woman, she needs to know that nobody in the world wants her to succeed as much as you do. And not because it’ll benefit you. You want it for her because she deserves it and has earned it on her own.


Express Yourself

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s