Part of my commitment to growing in faith is spending more time in fellowship. The church I go to does a monthly service that’s dedicated to young Christians. The pastor has covered great topics from employment to getting your finances right to most recently dealing with temptation.
January’s topic focused on relationships. More importantly, the pastor’s message was about the dangers of not having a plan for your relationship. His scripture text was about Samson and Delilah.
When I read up on the man Samson really was, I can see some parts of me in him. Samson is the type of guy that relies on his own devices when it comes to women. He follows his emotions because that’s what rules him. He makes the same mistakes repeatedly because in truth he has no idea what love really is.
You have to trust that God will place you in the right time and place to meet who He has prepared you to be with.
We’re all guilty of bad patterns when it comes to relationships. We pursue situations that are not godly because they make us feel good. We become so enamored by physical attachment that our ability to discern is rendered useless. The other problem is a lot of times we don’t even know why we’re dating.
Any relationship that’s built on false pretenses or opposing agendas is doomed to fail.
As I went back over my notes, I thought about the 3 types of prayers that can be helpful when you desire to get into a relationship that’ll lead to marriage
Prayer of sexual discipline: Samson let sex cloud his judgement when it came to selecting a wife. How many people have you had sex with that you wish you hadn’t? Not only does sex contaminate your selection process in dating but it makes you mentally weak. You overlook red flags because you’re mistaking lust for love. One scripture that I found about being disciplined against sexual temptation is Romans 8:5-6. Now that I’m celibate on my own, I understand why it’s important to protect your thoughts and guard your spirit.
Prayer of patience: We interfere with God’s plans for our lives all the time. The result is prolonged, unnecessary suffering. If you really think about it, that’s what heartbreak is. God told you to no but because you were so overwhelmed by your emotions and/or sex, you didn’t hear him. Or maybe you heard him and chose to ignore him. Nevetheless, if you want your next relationship to be your last, you have to learn to chill and trust that God’s got your back. Sometime last year, I wrote a short post for GMP entitled “Dear Future Wife…” When it comes to real love, you can’t rush it. You can’t rush God. So while you’re following the path God’s put you on, one verse to consult is 2 peter 3:9.
Prayer of purpose: We get so wrapped up in the title of husband/wife that we forget a partner is meant to be your help-mate; meaning they’re supposed to be a beautiful addition to every area of your life. If you don’t know what your purpose is, you shouldn’t want God to throw another person into that confusion. It’s also important to believe it’s possible and considered a blessing if God aligns you with someone that’ll help you actualize your purpose.
For example, I didn’t have confidence in my writing until someone that cared about me believed in it. Through love and genuine encouragement, my purpose as a writer came to life. From that, opportunities to build and expand my portfolio as a writer in different areas came.
There are tons of bible verses regarding finding your purpose. What has helped me is, during the week, asking God to help me let go of the things not meant for me so that I can make room for His direction (Psalms 32:8)
Society will have us believe that marriage is the penultimate life goal. But that’s not our only goal. As believers we’re here to do God’s work and bring others to the Lord. I think romantic relationships are meant to be the human version of our relationship with God; pure, unconditional, and everlasting.