Last year, I wrote a lot of depressing shit. Because that was where I was. When I read some of those old posts now, I’m kind of embarrassed because it sounds like a person who hated life. (Some days I did)
I also wrote at great lengths about our black men, women, and children being killed. Those were the hardest posts to write. After the first few, it was like beating a dead horse. Last week, I started to write one about what I’d tell my future son about Tamir Rice’s murder. Before I realized it, I was fighting the tears. I decided to delete those words of frustration and disappointment.
I’ve vowed not to write about the subject of black death anymore. I have nothing new to say. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. I think emotionally and collectively, we’re all just tired. The only good that came out of my writing in 2015 is that the more writing I did, the more distracted I was. With deadlines and revisions from editors, I had to maintain focus and appreciate the small victories.
This year, I plan to focus more on sharing positivity for anyone who has stuck around through the bad periods.
If you’re new or haven’t been following along with my posts, here are a few great things that have happened for me recently.
- 1 of my pieces for BMWK was featured on their top 10 list of articles for 2015
- I will be writing for Sports Illustrated’s official blog
- 2 of my pieces were picked up by an independent Afro-centric publication on Medium
- I’m now co-managing a sports facility and was given control over developing their sports-specific program
- I bought a townhouse (Technically we’re in the inspection and appraisal process, but my first offer was accepted. Hopefully everything will be wrapped up by the beginning of February. I’ll write more in detail about this when the process is over)
A few years ago, I tackled a subject that isn’t discussed much on the internet; infertility in the black community. I wrote an accompanying short story and left it as my contribution. When the story of Arkell and Dana Graves went viral, I decided to re-visit the subject.
Infertility causes strain on marriages. The loss of a child whom you prayed so hard for is something that can destroy a couple, more specifically a woman, mentally and spiritually. You want answers where there are none. I’m going to be continuing on with the short story, chapter by chapter. It’s a writing project that I’m committing the entire year to. By this time next year, it’ll be a full-length novel in which I can put together professionally and hire someone to help me market it to a wider audience.
I’d be lying if I said I’m 100% happy. That’s an unrealistic goal. But I think it’s important to get lost in what you love sometimes. It’s in that space where you figure out your “why” and can start to structure your life around your purpose.