One of the better things about being a man is that no one ever forces you to settle down. No one is impatiently tapping their watch with a hint of admonishment. Of course, there’s the expectation that once a man reaches his 30s and has created a nest for himself that he’ll start to date with a purpose. It becomes more about “can I see myself sharing my life with this woman?” as we mentally abandon the comfort and convenience of Ms. Right Now. I’m at that space in my life right now.
Recently, I often think about the ways that I may change once I become a husband. It’s important that a man recognizes he shouldn’t change for a woman. Instead, he should have clarity on who he is as a man. He should know what he wants his future to look like and what type of legacy he wants to leave and then find a woman that fits that. From experience I can say that once you have the right woman, everything else will naturally feel progressive. Maturity has taught me that your significant other should automatically transition with you into the new stage of your life.
But fatherhood is a completely different type of change.
It seems like everyone around me is having babies or raising children. One of homeboys just had a baby boy a few months ago. My little cousin is almost 1.5. And then there’s my nieces. I’m always surround by babies and toddlers. As often as I think about the type of husband I’ll be, my mind also wanders into the anticipation of becoming a father. I do know there are certain things that I can’t wait for though.
The first time my child smiles at me
Babies evolve at such a fast pace. It seems like every other week they do something new. I’ve watched my brother and my homeys relish in this particular milestone. There’s nothing more heartwarming than you and your mini-me locking eyes and them just showing all their baby gums.
His/her first airplane ride
Because of my career path, I’m sure I’ll be the parent that creates one of these gift bags for others on the flight. Aside from work, I’m someone who loves to travel! So I’m excited to walking through the airport with some baby luggage in tow. And of course, there’s the cute pictures I’ll take of the kidlet looking out the window at 35K feet.
Homemade Fathers Day cards
When my dad passed away, I found the box of like 20 years worth of cards. I didn’t think my dad kept them because…dads. It meant a lot to me knowing he did. It reminded me that, even though they can’t communicate it the way parents want, kids like to show their parents how much they love them.
Twins are twice the excitement, twice the memories, and twice the worthwhile stress. It may sound slightly vain to say this but I want twins just to be able to make viral videos such as this.
There was a point where I really wanted a boy. Current events have made me somewhat fearful due to the hard conversations I’ll have to have with my son that I might not have to have with my daughter. However, fatherhood to me now means that I’m completing the life cycle.