I’ve said previous on this site that I’m not a person that’s heavily involved with social networking sites. I got bored with Twitter. I’m inching towards boredom with Facebook. LinkedIn is cool because it’s easy to network with other professionals in my industry. However of all the social media sites that I’m on, Instagram is still one that I’m on the fence about.
Instagram, for all intents and purposes, is focused on photo-sharing and giving people (often strangers) the opportunity to see your world through your eyes. That’s the good side of Instagram. But Instagram has also gotten some people into sticky situations. After Facebook, I wouldn’t be surprised if Instagram (and the habits they highlight) has caused some uncomfortable conversations and even fights within a relationship. I personally believe that couples should be able to be honest about their social media habits. Issues arise when people try to hide or be sneaky about what they’re really doing on sites like Instagram. Whether people want to admit it or not, social media as a whole can (and has) infringed on the trust people have in their significant other.
We all know that Instagram has birthed a wave of “models”. These are the women who typically only follow athletes, celebrities, and a select group of people they know in real life. You can easily spot them by 2 things: a) they have a “for booking” email and b) they follow under like several hundred people, but have five-figure follower counts. In there, you will find regular guys from all walks of life simply following because they like what the young lady is figuratively selling. Many of these guys are married or are in relationships with women who look nothing like that young lady. Does that matter? Yes.
Instagram becomes problematic when a man spends too much time lusting over women and becomes disrespectful to the real woman in his life.
One thing that I’ve always held onto is that the freaky things you applaud other women for doing, your lady is more than willing to do if you approach her correctly about it. I discussed this general point when I wrote about nude pictures. I personally don’t get on Instagram to follow half-naked women that I’ll never meet. Seeing half naked pictures of women does nothing for me because I have that at home. Not every man does. I think women don’t mind their man being an inhabitant of #lustyInstagram. We like to look and it’s usually harmless and innocent. Couples most often argue about any type of social media when it’s taken offline and your significant other is being inappropriate with the person he’s following.
Women are offenders when it comes to Instagram too. Ya’ll aren’t innocent or slick. @PostBadBeards is a prime example of women exhibiting the same type of lusty behavior, albeit in a different way. I have the capability to grow a beard and I’m a good-looking guy. Do I have problem with my girl following this page? No. But if I was 5’9 with a struggle face, it might irritate me. Here’s the thing with men: we don’t care about your social media interaction with complete strangers. What we do take issue with is the dudes that have been a part of your past who quietly lurk to keep tabs on what you’re doing. While women are worried about naked strangers holding their man’s attention, guys have to be concerned about the dudes you went to college with or dated recently.
People underestimate the effect social media can have on a relationship; especially if it’s already fragile. Instagram, much like Facebook and Twitter, can turn into a magnification of who you already are. For some guys, Instagram has become an outlet to be hyper-aggressive toward women because they aren’t that way in real life. I mean have you ever gone through the comments section on a picture of a popular urban model? Straight savagery!
While I don’t believe couples should police each other’s social media pages, I do believe once you reach a certain stage, a conversation needs to be had. Whatever flirty, suggestive comments and messages you were posting on Instagram when you were single could be taken as disrespect once you have a significant other. It’s all about being responsible. And it’s not an easy conversation to have. I take offense to someone telling me I can’t do something. However, there comes a time when you have a moment of clarity on what’s more important to you – naked/half-dressed people you’ll never meet or the person who’s given you their heart, time, and attention to build something dope with you.
Do you think Instagram can be a threat to a relationship?