Nobody Cares About Your Nudes But #Him

Is the #him thing still a hashtag on Twitter?

The month of September has been filled with iCloud violations of privacy. Hackers have been busy leaking the naked photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton,  Jill Scott, and most recently Gabrielle Union and Meagan Good. While internet savages appreciates these feminine forms, it feels wrong to be salivating over private photos that were never meant to be seen by anyone other than their partners. Keep in mind that “privacy” is murky in and of itself. What I do find stupid, though, is how regular women are using this as an argument as to why they won’t be (or will stop) taking nudes.

Anytime I read a commenter say "well don't take naked pictures then"

Anytime I read a commenter say “well don’t take naked pictures then”

Nude photos are dope to receive. Nothing perks a man’s eyes up like seeing the naked body of a woman he’s intimately involved with. I can say that there’s a level of intimacy that gets confirmed every time I see that little paper clip attached in a message. In my head, whenever I receive a nude, it’s a reminder that a woman trusts me. Deeply. I do want to make this distinction; I’ve never requested a nude photo. I’ve never badgered a woman for a nude. I’ve never felt like I was owed a naked picture simply because I was involved with the woman. If you have to ask for the nudes, you don’t deserve the nudes.

There’s a level of trust that needs to be established before XXX media is ever exchanged. As a man, you shouldn’t expect a woman to let you see her naked body digitally if you’ve put forth no effort in other personal ways. The primary reason that sparks a woman to send her man a nude is because she feels sexy and comfortable in her own skin. No matter how confident a woman is, she wants to know that her man finds her sexy and even f@$kable. Realistically, it doesn’t take a lot to make a woman feel beautiful and appreciated. Women seek consistency in relationships. So if you’re doing everything right in other areas of the relationship, her willingness to take and send you some risque photos will come.

But keeping it real, womens’ paranoia over getting their nudes leaked or stolen is irrational. You’re not famous, ma. You don’t have a brand to protect. You don’t have endorsement morality clauses to uphold. Even if your boyfriend or husband does store them to an online server, there’s no thrill for hackers to expose regular people. Our privacy gets compromised regularly without us really being aware of it. Last year, I had my credit card information stolen but I would’ve much rather it had been a few d!ck pics.

Also, the average man keeps any nudes he’s received under lock and key so they don’t get compromised. Believe it or not, if you’ve shared your nudes with a man that cares about you, not even his best friend of 20+ years will know that you sent them. We don’t share nude photos the way women think we do. We are extremely protective over any naked media we get because to let them get out is to guarantee never to receive any again from that woman.

Ultimately, receiving nudes is a privilege and sending them should be a well-thought out choice. But it’s a choice that should be made with both parties in mind. To say to a man who loves and respects you “I’d never do that” is being short-sighted and unfair. I mean, one of the best parts of being in a committed relationship is exploring boundaries together. It sounds cliche and redundant, but sharing nudes is one of the best ways to maintain intimacy; especially if you’re involved in a long distance relationship or have schedules that make it tough to spend a lot of time together. Sharing naked photos is a form of foreplay, albeit one that has some warning signs. It goes without saying that one needs to be cautious about however you choose to send and save them. But don’t let isolated events that are far removed from you and your relationship scare you into being anti-nudes.

Have you ever sent nudes? Have you ever received them? How safe do you feel in sharing nudes with a person you’re dating?



One comment

  1. I feel like sending nudes to anyone outside of my husband would be a risk I’m not willing to take. People get vindictive, and I’m not here for that. At least with marriage I have a bigger guarantee of stability..

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