Being A Fool For Love Or Plain Stupid?

I needed some reprieve from a chaotic week, so I sat down to watch this show Being Mary Jane.  Although I don’t know know the entire plot of the show, the finale that I watched basically summed the character Mary Jane up as a model for women that have it together but are still lost.

omari-hardwick-being-mary-jane

I understand shows like this resonate with women for 2 reasons – they have a friend like this and it’s a way for them to criticize without actually criticizing their friend. The second reason is they sometimes need an objective mirror held up to them in order to address their own flaws.

We, men included, have all been a fool for love at some point. To me, being a fool for love means that you have this person who gets you in a way that nobody else ever has. When you need them, he or she is there without hesitation or excuses. You can laugh with them, fight with them, watch a terrible movie with them, and stay up for hours talking to them about anything. The sex you have is explosive. The love you make is expressive.

Yet something is an obvious road block. It could be distance. It could be that career-wise, one of you is on a different level. It could be anything. Instead of letting that road block stop you in your tracks, you proceed cautiously. You don’t turn a blind eye to the road blocks. You just have this level of optimism that allows you to figure out how to get through them.

Everybody has that one relationship that you refuse to count in your vault of mistakes. It can be embarrassing to admit a relatively smart person did something that stupid. For women like Mary Jane, they sometimes enter a space of delusion that invites them to be manipulative. In doing that, they try absolve themselves of culpability when things don’t go as they planned. I think sometimes you meet a person that comes into your life like a hail storm. You underestimate the damage that little decisions involving them can cause. You become so enthralled by the sense of potential danger that you disregard protecting yourself. Relationships that seem to thrive off adrenaline-based decisions will never turn into something healthy and functional. Or calm.

For me, being a fool for love is predicated on the two of you are taking that plunge together. At the same exact time. There’s an equal amount of honesty and vulnerability. I mean, nobody goes into a relationship expecting it to fail. However let’s be honest with ourselves – there are some relationships that have all the makings of a catastrophic L.

The difference between being a fool for love and being stupid as hell is one you can heal from while the other can hold your future hostage.

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