Some topics seem to resonate with the masses and we latch onto them. For awhile now, I’ve continued to come across articles that try to draw a hard separation between introverts and extroverts. One of my favorites was from last year in which a chart for the “obnoxious” was included.
The problem is there are no finite labels that can be applied. Many people fall under the category of ambiverts. I’d go so far as to say that majority of the population is neither one nor the other. It really comes down to what their tendencies are in certain crowds.
People have these unrealistic assumptions about what introverts are. No, I’m not shy. No, I’m not socially awkward. No, crowds don’t send me into a panic. I can be talkative. I’m smooth around the opposite sex. And I’ve never needed a social coach or mentor to help me overcome anxiety. So I can’t be alone in having said these statements to people who clearly don’t have levels to this socialization shit.
1) I’m not shy, you’re just annoying. I have friends who are extreme extroverts. The nicest dudes you want to hang out with. But they are often loud and obnoxious. They’re like a crew of 6’2+ Kevin Hart’s. When introverts have friends like these, we get annoyed easily. Homeys like that can turn a friends-only burgers and Avion night into a 30 person pool party when we really just want to keep a low profile.
2) Don’t small talk me, bro. I hate people that beat around the bush. Extroverts naturally have the gift of gab. So they talk. And talk. And talk. When it comes down to business, extroverts will try to wow you with their cleverness and animated hands. Bring it down! Get your points across or make your request and let’s keep it moving.
3) I’m quiet because I don’t know you like that: I love basketball and I love music. If you put me in a room with strangers and those two topics come up, I can confidently keep up. When an introvert is passionate about something, you can’t shut us up about it. In social settings where I don’t know anyone, I’m always reserved. Some people take that as I’m acting
light-skinned like I’m too cool to speak. Trust me, it’s not that. Introverts take awhile to warm up to unfamiliar and unfamiliar environments.
It’s widely been stated that introverts love solitude. I don’t think that’s necessarily true. We just need time to be in our own energy. In my line of work, 95% of the people I work with have big personalities. For me, it can get exhausting to match other peoples’ high energy. When introverts retreat into their shell, it’s really about them re-charging. This is especially true for introverts who work with people a lot.
5) I’m not really an introvert, though: I find myself saying this statement the most. There’s an expectation that Alpha males are, by default, always on level 10. I suppose that has to do with the initial presentation. Even in an environment when I don’t know anyone, once I feel the energy out, I can adjust accordingly. I don’t have a problem going to things by myself and networking with new people. But no matter the situation, you won’t catch me doing the Dame Dash with a bottle in my hand yelling “Knickstape ya bish!”.
Unless I’ve been drankin.