Valentine’s Day Is D-Day For New Relationships

Tonight, I had two separate conversations with the fellas about that holiday in February. One friend had a request for the hook up on a restaurant. The other was a question about if Valentine’s Day is worth celebrating when you just spent a grip on Christmas.


Those guys

I don’t rock with Valentine’s Day. I never will. My girl knows how much I love her. I tell her daily that I find her beautiful and that she’s special to me. I’ve sent her flowers. I’ve written long emails. She knows my hopes and dreams and shit. Despite not being an outwardly expressive person, I’m expressive with her. So Feb 14th is another day.

One thing I’ve never done is impose my indifference on other guys who are trying to woo their ladies. Different women require want different things on Feb 14th. Some women are content with a nice card and some flowers. Other women want the whole fairy tale. Regardless of the type of women you’re with, the first Valentine’s Day with your lady is going to set the tone for romance in a few different ways.

Before I continue, let me preface this with the obvious observation. Valentine’s Day is not about you showing your love for your girl. It’s about other women knowing how much she’s loved.

Now that that’s on wax.

When I discussed gift giving for your first Christmas as a couple, I said that holidays aren’t necessarily about the money you spend. It’s about evidence that you pay attention. Well, Valentine’s Day is the exception. You don’t need to spend tons of money. You do, however, need to be creative with what whatever money you do spend. Buying her an expensive bracelet or spending $400 on a four-star hotel room isn’t enough. If you don’t show some type of creativity on a day where most women are receiving similar gifts, you’re setting yourself up to be romantically boring. She’s going to be able to figure you out year after year. And that takes the fun out of the day.

On the flip side, if you set the bar extremely high, future Valentine’s Day occasions will be held to a standard. My boy got engaged on Christmas Eve. Not only did he buy her a beautiful engagement ring, he booked a private room in the  restaurant and sang a Frank Sinatra song as part of his proposal. Because of all that, he now feels compelled to take her out for an expensive dinner because, well, she knows what he’s capable of. When you lead with the appearance of unlimited resources (not that there’s anything wrong with that), you’re creating a narrow expression of romance. You might not always be able to maintain that opulence.


Lastly, women love to share how dope their man is with their friends. It’s like women can’t wait to be like “girl, look what my man did for me”. It’s a badge of honor I guess. So consider this scenario: You’ve been together  for 6 months. You made it through summer and the major family holidays. You do and say all the right things. Your exemplary boyfriend behavior has put your girl in a position to be envied in her circle of friends. You better not embarrass her! If you don’t come correct on the day that’s observed for womens’ egos, be prepared for 1 word texts and side-eyes for a few days.

I applaud guys who enjoy pushing their romance to that next level for the day. If it benefits you later (giggity), then who am I to judge? But I’m of the school that thinks love doesn’t come with a price tag attached to it. And giving one day so much power in your expression of love is meaningless if you half ass it the rest of the time.



  1. Love your blog. I’m using this particular post as inspiration for a discussion on Valentine’s day I’m having on my radio show tonight. You should check it out 🙂

    1. Appreciate the support 🙂 Won’t be able to check it out tonight, but link me to it and I’ll check it when I have down time.

Express Yourself

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s