If you’re a guy who writes or tweets about sex, relationships, gender issues, really anything involving the ins and outs of male/female interaction, you’re going to have some awkward moments in your relationship.
My girl reads my site and subscribes to my Examiner page. Although she’s very supportive, she hasn’t always liked the attention that comes along with being a male writer.
Our relationship is solid enough that we never fight over what I write. To her credit, some conversations we’ve had turned into some solid writing material. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s comfortable with our relationship’s private moments being played out for strangers. Or in some cases, admirers.
One thing I found out as a writer is that female readers build up their attraction to male writers through words. In the microcosm of relationship writing, male writers prospers off the support of female readers. Some of the more popular male writers are guys who women would deem desirable. I mean as a successful writer, you have to be smart, well-spoken, have some charisma, and a way with words. Being attractive certainly helps too. For some women, they gather intel on the male writers they enjoy and wait for that moment. Whether it’s meeting him at a sponsored happy hour or seeing him tweet about being in her city and hoping for that casual invite. Now for us, we see the comments, RTs, and likes as support that we graciously appreciate. But as men, we’re often oblivious to the secret crush brewing; especially if we have a girlfriend.
From your girl’s perspective, she pays attention to the attention being paid to other women. It’s honestly no different than the co-worker who’s getting close. For some writers, they have no problem acknowledging that they have a girl. Rich and Wis over at Two Guys, One Show routinely talk about their girlfriends both in writing and now on their podcast. While other writers – you may not know he’s in a relationship until his girl Instagrams her engagement ring. That’s a to-each-his-own decision. My point is that the virtual world has given way to a false sense of familiarity. You share so much of yourself that your readers really think they know you.
I remember I wrote a post about something I’d never discussed with my girl. I wrote it from the perspective of a single man. Let’s just say she wasn’t pleased.
No matter how supportive your girlfriend is, she’s going to get salty when your writing and tweets gets a little too raw or too personal. Don’t get me wrong ladies, some of you are cool on letting your guy have his space. Conversely, I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who refuse to read their boyfriend’s writing or follow him on social networking. However, for most of us, writers that want their words to become their career treat themselves as a brand. And if you want to be successful at this writing thing, maintaining the “brand” side of you will come at a price.
Unless your girl is a writer too.