It’s hard to not talk about Beyonce without mentioning Beyonce. But I have to be upfront when I say this was partially inspired by watching a few of her new videos, well 1.
I might be in the majority of men when I say this. I’ve never looked at Beyonce as sexually attractive. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a beautiful woman. Yet, I’ve never looked at a picture of her and thought to myself “I bet she’s a freak in bed”. However, with this new album, she’s outwardly painted a portrait of her sexual prowess that’s in line with NSFW Tumblr gifs. Let’s not overlook the unique story that Beyonce’s also telling that other artists are not:
She’s singing about having a dope sex life. with her Husband. (check out my post about the “Drunk in Love” message)
One of the things I’ve often heard people say is that once you get married, the sex takes a sharp turn. In most cases, you’ve been having sex with the person for some time. Plus we spend our 20s experimenting and trying new things because that’s what you’re supposed to do. So it’s reasonable to expect that by the time you get married, sex with him or her might just be — sex. Additionally, celibacy in a relationship evokes a thunderous laughter from most of us. That being said, I could understand why some have a jaded view of sex post-marriage.
But marital sex should be the best sex of your life. Scratch that, it is the best sex of your life. One of the things that makes sex with your husband or wife better than casual sex is there’s a strong sense of trust. With trust comes a level of vulnerability and comfort. When a woman fully trusts you, there’s very little that she won’t do with sexually with you; including keeping a towel in the backseat of a Maybach.
The other aspect that makes sex within a marriage better than is passion. When 2 people are passionately in love, it permeates through every aspect of their relationship. It could be my idealism, but marriage is about marrying someone who fulfills most, if not all, of your needs. Those needs include the desire to want to have sex. I can’t imagine being married to a woman who didn’t excite me with the right words whispered in my ear or touching me the right way. Loving your wife doesn’t mean your lust for her has to disappear. As a married couple, everyday you should look at your partner and want to take him/her right then and there. When you love that person on a deeper level, the lust is just different.
The final aspect is a matter of my opinion. Sex doesn’t really become amazing until you reach your 30s. Like I said, in your 20s, you spend so much time on trial and error. You might be doing everything and feeling nothing. It’s like we’re all trying to outperform each other. We’re very selfish in our 20s. Therefore, our sexual satisfaction is based on whether we got what we wanted out of it. Once you hit your 30s, you have a very clear understanding of your sexuality. You know what you like and don’t like. It’s far easier to relay those preferences in a marriage than it is if you’re just dating someone.
Marital sex is liberating and more satisfying in so many ways. It’d be improper to compare it to sex when you’re simply dating or in a monogamous relationship. However, once you get there, you’ll understand exactly what Beyonce is talking about on this album.