Things I Learned About Life, Love and Other Sh*t In 2013 (Pt. 1)

It feels like we had an extended summer, fall skipped out on us, and yet nothing’s changed in the NY sports. I don’t want to belabor the whole year-end, let’s reflect and talk about goals writing trend. However, if you’ve experienced a prophetic moment or had an ideal redefined, I’d love to hear it.


These are mine.

1) Long distance relationships suck the most when the person is sick or when you’re arguing. No piece of technology, short of teleportation, is going to circumvent the intense feeling of helplessness and loneliness that you’ll experience in a LDR.

2) Speaking of LDRs, f*ck United Airlines until the Messiah returns to fix their wack airlines (can I curse and say Messiah in the same sentence? I’m working on my language)

3) People who haven’t made your choices can never judge your experiences or consequences. Their opinions of you and what you do in your life should never leave you unnerved or plant self-doubt. When asking for advice or guidance, consider the source.

4) When you have time off from work, take time off! I went to Italy for almost 3 weeks back in September and that was first time in 2 years I had a break from the business of life. I only talked to 2 people while I was across the pond. Despite me being over there for work, the nature of my job allowed me to chill for 85% of the time. Even if you’re unable to vacation beyond your area code, whatever your vacation consists off, be sure to detach and disengage from the internet and social media. After all, most of those people are strangers anyway.

5) Love takes a lot of work. Love isn’t a feeling a choice. You have to choose day after day to wake up and be committed to one person. When you choose to fearlessly love someone, it’s top 5 best feelings in the world!

6) There comes a time when you’re going to have to give way more than you receive. I experienced a few health issues throughout the year. I couldn’t be the man I wanted to be in my relationship. It was hard and I often wanted to give up. But we both came to the understanding that love is also process. It can be long-suffering. Although when the person is worth it to you, what’s a year compared to 50 right?

7) I don’t believe in vision boards. I do think that it does you some good to write goals down and to create a plan that’ll get them off the paper. It’s not enough to say to yourself over and over “I’m going to do this, I will do this, I can do this.” If you write your goals down and put them in a place where your eyes will always be on them. you’re less likely to lose focus or be distracted. (Check out my post on Distractions)

8) There’s no shame in asking for help. I’ve previously wrote about suicide and mental health as it relates to men. As a man, I’ve struggled with when to ask for help and how to ask. I realize that most fathers raise their sons to never expect and accept help as a way to reinforce standing on our two feet. In some cases, it can be a bit crippling. Those young boys grow into adult men who spend a great deal of time making the same mistakes (and probably hurting people they care about) repeatedly. We idolize our parents, boys their fathers especially. But they’re not right about everything.

9) To piggy back off the previous lesson, remind yourself that you are not your parents. I think there are occasions where we only see the good in our parents; not understanding that good and bad are relative. I’m almost finished reading this book The Shack and one of the concepts I came across blew me away. God is good. We say this all the time, in our prayers, in benedictions, in blessings. If you’re believing in Him, then you should know nothing “bad” comes from Him. What has happened as a result of us having free will is we’ve imposed our own definitions of good and bad based on circumstances through our eyes. If something is unfavorable to you or hurts you or disappoints you, you deem that as “bad”. When things go your way, it’s easy to think you have the good life. So to tie this back in, you may have grew up thinking your parents could do know wrong. However, the reality is your experience has to dictate what’s good and bad in your life. Prescribing to what your parents’ did won’t have the same results for you.

10) Thank God for Audible! I’m not a guy that likes to read. That probably makes 0 sense considering I write. But Audible has made me actually interested in reading and venturing into other genres of literature. After all, the best writers are those who read a lot.

For sake of space, 11-20 will be posted on Wednesday. What are some of your memorable lessons of 2013?

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