God has an uncanny way of placing you in situations with people that need to be there at that time. Things can change on the fly. People do leave, whether it’s by their own choice or life’s circumstances. Some thing I’ve wondered at times is how do you know when walking away is a need?
I’ve never had a problem being alone. As a twin, I shared everything for most of my childhood. I did things intentionally to separate myself from my brother. My love (and skill) for basketball allowed me the alone time I wanted. As a natural introvert, I don’t mind being around people. Contrary to popular belief, introverts can be very sociable people; we just often prefer the time to chill and be on our own.
I, like many people, do my best thinking in the shower, in the car, or taking walks. For some reason in the solitude of my thoughts, I can see and examine things with unbiased clarity. In solitude, you’re forced to humble yourself, accept responsibility/accountability, and commit to making a new set of choices.
Some people can’t handle being alone with themselves. Maybe it’s because they can’t handle their ugliness. Maybe they don’t want to face the consequences of past actions. Maybe they aren’t ready to fix what they know is broken. Everyone has their reasons. I embrace self-reflection because I never want to be a disappointment to those who love me. I never want to be caught slippin. So being a recluse every now and then is a part of the maturation process.
Sometimes you have to lose the thing you want to be ready for the thing you deserve
That can apply to anything. My spiritual mentor said that in relation to a specific thing I’ve been going through lately. To expound on it, he pointed me to James 1. Now I’ll be the 1st to admit that I don’t know the bible. Recently though, whenever I pray, I get pulled to a scripture that has to deal with enduring faith. James 1: 2-7 essentially says the reward goes to those who persevere even when it seems easier to stop believing that God will come through for you. If you want a better situation, you have to navigate through what’s currently going on as if the negative has already been removed and handled.
Faith is tricky for all of us. It can either push you away from the situation or keep you in the situation. If you have to endure unfavorable conditions, the word promises us that the pressure is preparing you for the next season of greatness.
We stay at jobs we hate. We stay with people we’re unhappy with. We put up with treatment we don’t deserve because we’re afraid to do better. It sounds silly to say but some of us are far more afraid of success than we are of failure. You can’t learn anything from success right? So it dawned on me today that letting go isn’t the hard part. It’s the anticipation of answering “what now?” that’s scary as hell.