Being back in NY and now FL has taken me down an interesting journey of memories. Old spots and familiar faces have sparked nostalgia. You never realize how much you change as a person until you notice all that’s stayed the same. I have no regrets and certainly wouldn’t erase anything I’ve been through. However, there’s a few things I wish I had insight on that would’ve better prepared for me for my 30s.
1) Don’t be such a hermit. You’ll avoid being misunderstood. The very nature that I share so much of myself via my writing still shocks me at times. I’m a private person and a bit of an introvert. I’m definitely not what you would call shy. I guess because I work in the business of dealing with big personalities, I enjoy being alone. I deliberately keep my personal and professional life separate. This has sometimes become a flaw since people tend to read me as off-putting and arrogant.
2) Go to law school. I talked about my struggles to becoming an agent on my personal blog. I know for a fact that had I gone to law school right after undergrad, I would’ve been an agent by the time I was 30. Many of my peers have law degrees from prestigious universities. It’s easy for them to sign the guys who become stars during March Madness. Additionally, I didn’t go to a school that had a strong collegiate athletic department
(we too busy hosting presidential debates #humblebrag). So although I love the environment I work in now, law school would’ve afforded me a completely different professional experience at an earlier age.
3) Pride isn’t worth sacrificing your happiness. In our 20s, we tend to be so concerned with the image of having a great life. So many of my friends envied what I had and how perserverent I was. But realistically, my pride never allowed me to reveal how unhappy I was some days, some weeks. Your pride will fool you into thinking that you have to maintain the facade that you create. When in actuality, people won’t judge you for eating crow and showing a crack in your armor. Prideful people can never enjoy being at the top because it’s for damn sure lonely up there. And the fall that your pride will cause is rarely something you can recover from once you’re older.
4) Keep God and family first. As much as I love my family, I would love more time with them. I have a cousin that’s about to go graduate from high school and headed to Loyola Marymount. I have another little cousin who had like 7 teeth the last time I saw him. Now he can dress himself and spell his name. You can’t grasp how fast time moves until you slow down and see that the rest of the world is passing you by. I see work and my career as means to give my family all that they need. So I put 100% into it. Yet having this downtime made it pretty clear that all family ever wants is your time. As far as my relationship with God goes, it always boils down to God’s plan for your life is always going surpass what you could ever conceive.
5) Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying around. In your 20s, you’re much more resilient and nonchalant to a lot of things. Toxic people and bad situations get far more of your attention than they deserve. In my 20s, I was hopeful about a few things. I kept forcing things that, now in my 30s, I realize weren’t meant for me at that time. I held onto friends that didn’t hold me in the same regard as I did them. The cliche is you can forgive but not forget. But there are occassions of forgiveness where the only way to truly forgive and reconcile is to walk away.
And what are you doing now, regardless of age, to make sure your future self will be in a better place?