5 Things To Remember When You Start Over

I haven’t had the chance to really discuss it too deep here, but over on my personal blog, I talked about executing my move to Houston. You can catch up on those posts over on From Jay to Z.

Moving to a new city where you know virtually no one isn’t for the faint of heart. Many of us move because we’re either A) running from something that we don’t want to face or B) running toward something we can’t live without. I can attest to both of these reasons. But ultimately, the success in starting over somewhere, whether you’re alone or doing it as a family, hinges upon you being able to answer the what now? From my experience as a rolling stone, here’s some things to consider when you take flight to a new place.

Leave The Old Stuff in the Old Place

One of the biggest reasons why peoples’ situations don’t change in a new place is because nothing about their mindset changes. You can’t be the same person you used to be in a new place and expect to create a new shell of happiness. So whatever drama, healing, hurt that you have lingering, release it. If it’s family members or even old friends that are bringing you down, don’t feel guilty about putting them on a shelf and loving them from a distance.

Commit Yourself To Finding Better 

This goes along with leaving old things behind. When you’re starting over, you have to begin with the belief “this time will be better than the last” in mind. You have to have faith that you’ll find a better job and meet people who will bring out only the best in you. Set a new routine for yourself that facilitates growth in the areas of your life that need it. When you start over, it’s an opportunity to shed old skin and completely rejuvenate who you are from the inside out.

Don’t Get Caught Up In What’s Not Happening

It took me almost 2 months to find an apartment that I truly liked. The thing about Houston is that it’s really booming right now. It was named the coolest city to live in by Forbes. I set price range with a specific set of amenities. Turns out so did all the other transplants! I did get frustrated and some days, I was thisssss close to saying eff it. My determination won though. I didn’t let my dissatisfaction in finding the perfect place to live steer me away from making the move right now. Therefore, if you’re struggling to find a job or meet new people or find a new church, understand that assimilation is a process. Like anything else, it takes time and persistence. But don’t let that get you stress you out. Enjoy things day by day.

Take a Break and Enjoy It

People who are ambitious very seldom stop to breathe and enjoy the fruits of their accomplishments. We’re very methodical and we’re always moving, metaphorically speaking. However, I’ve surprised myself when I had a chance to chill and take note of how happy I am out here. For Labor Day, my niece and cousin came out to visit. Not only did I have fun with her, but I got to get out and see the city through a child’s eyes. The simplest of things make little kids happy. So why should that change when we’re adults? Even if things are slow to get off the ground, stop and relish in the moment of where you are that very moment. Sometimes when you take a minute to chill, something will happen to change your perspective. All you need is a spark.

Don’t Regret Your Decision to Move Forward

I remember when I first moved from Jersey to Atlanta. I was so excited about it because I was going to be starting a new chapter with a woman I loved. People called me crazy for doing it. Even my boss sat me down to say “are you sure you want to leave this agency?” I wasn’t sure, but we do crazy things for love right? After some time, I regretted it badly; mainly because I hate Atlanta and I couldn’t find a job in my field. I was depressed and cranky all the time. Pretty sure, I wasn’t fun to be around. Then something clicked. I still don’t know what it was exactly. But here it is, nearly 4 months later and I’m in a good space in every aspect of my life. I don’t regret my move even though it wasn’t very well thought out. In life we have a bunch of little boulders that we have to side-step as we make our way down the path. Nothing you go through is big enough that it defines who you are.

Starting over is hard work. I think in some cases, it’s a result of us having failed at something that we thought we wanted. The great thing about progress is it’s cyclical. It never stops just because something ends. So when you decide to start over, even if it doesn’t include a geographical move, understand that as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you’re doing what you supposed to do.