What If Your Wife Can’t Make You A Father?

What does a man do when he loves his wife but is burdened by her inadequacy?

There are many men that equate a woman’s appeal as wife material based on the ability of her bear the fruits of his seed. In more antiquated countries, women are still considered cursed for having a problem conceiving naturally. Here in the US, approximately 2 million couples deal with infertility annually. In the last 20 years, it’s become an issue that affects women as young as 25.

This topic of infertility first came to me through another blogger that I have followed, @JustLissen. She initially shared her experience with infertility in a bold and very public manner on a SingleBlackMale.org post last year. I was so baffled by her candor. Not in a bad way, but I honestly always looked at infertility as a skeleton kept hidden deeply in the panels of a woman’s closet. Because womanhood is traditionally identified by a woman’s ability to give birth, I always saw the scar of infertility as something they’d rather pretend didn’t exist.

But reading her post and the comments, it dawned on me that infertility is something that will inevitably make or break a couple. I searched my soul for weeks on end at the proper way to approach this sensitive topic. I knew specifically, I wanted to delve into a man’s feeling regarding his wife not being able to give him something society says he should have. After all, the American dream is often inclusive of kids and a dog. While pets are cool, they don’t replace the authenticity of watching the human body transform to give way to another fully developed human being. For men, in particular, our virility is attached, among other thing, to the evidence of offspring.

For me personally, I know that I could be with a woman who couldn’t have children the natural way. With today’s technology, there are other options that we can consider and try in order to make my goal of fatherhood a thing of the present. However, for many doting husbands, they’ll come at a crossroad in their marriage where a different type of commitment will have to be made. Here’s 1 man’s story…

Click Image to read my first short story, “Love’s Lost”

Please leave comments on what you thought of the story and how you feel about infertility and its affect on marriages.


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