Sex On The First Night? Why It’s A Good Idea

Monica was a cutie back in the day

To put this in perspective, Monica was 18 when this song came out. So she shouldn’t been giving up the goodies anyway. But for some of you grown women out here, I don’t understand what the hang ups are. You’re attracted to the guy, you let him kiss you, hold hands, you even invite him in for a night cap. So why then, if all the signs are pointing to your E-zones, do you refuse to do what your body wants you to do?

This is where a woman's inner voice won't STFU

The leading reason as to why women put the breaks on getting their breaks beat hasn’t changed in 50 years. They don’t want to appear easy. Instead of just feeding their inner lioness, they’d rather belabor the urge and make a guy jump through hoops to get in where he wants to fit in.

Perhaps times are evolving though. According to a recent Single in America survey, 55% of singles (and 44% of women) admit to doing the horizontal dougie on the 1st date. Only 19% of singles said they insist on waiting until they’re in an exclusive relationship before engaging in sexual activity.

I personally look at this in 2 different ways. For starters, what qualifies as a date has been altered to fit the societal conveniencies. 15-20 years ago, it was as simple as if we’re attracted to one another, the guy asks, and the guy pays is what made it date. In essence he was paying for her time and paying for the opportunity to see if there were any sparks. But now, social networks eliminate a facet of traditional courting and couples tend to know a significant amount of information before going on a formal date. They know about each other’s common interests, backgrounds, and maybe even their immediate goals. Hell, some people have seen each other damn near naked before deciding on an activity to do together. So they go on a date to establish that face to face chemistry. The 2nd thing is I’ve seen many people use dating as a euphemism for a relationship that has actually been going on for a few months. To supplement literal labels, the relationship hierarchy is “we cool” -> “we’re dating” -> “that’s my man/woman”

However you want to slice the forbidden fruit, statistics show that women are trying to move toward being less sexually inhibited. It hasn’t quite reached a favorable mark for the single guys out there. Yet, I think more women are looking at sex on the 1st date with the respect of “if I like you, if I’m attracted to you, and we have a prophylactic, then we can make it go down”



  1. I was hoping for something a little deeper than this, considering that sex on the first date is a problem women struggle with (regardless of it being 2014 etc etc). As much as women want to claim being sexually liberated and on the same level as men as far as being able to separate sex from emotions, there is almost always going to be that nagging feeling in her head about whether she is making the right decision or not. And on the flip side, a lot of men are still treating women like shit if she gives it up too soon…hence the reason we women are so stressed! You men tell us it doesn’t matter, but your actions say other wise *shrug*

    We are actually talking about this on my show tomorrow night, you should definitely tune in. Search ‘bfr’ on the Live365 app and click on Boston Free Radio, April 9 (this Wednesday!) at 9pm eastern time.


    1. I’ll check it out. Thanks for your comment.

      Even though this post is a year old, I still stand by what I said. 1 thing I’ll add though is a man’s opinion of a woman seldom changes whether or not she has sex on the 1st date. I think it’s important to remember that for a lot of people, sex on the 1st date =/= heavy interest in that person. This generation of singles has gotten away from sex being viewed as leverage. That’s both good and bad depending on how you look at intimacy and monogamy.

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