Shout out to blogger @_chunk_ for the inspiration on this post! Check out the post series about her 30 day dating challenge. Very funny and eye opening
On Facebook the other day, someone asked if the most popular social networking site on the planet is the new way to “hook up” (not necessarily sex, I took it as more of a euphemism for dating in general) for singles. It’s free, most of us use it starting with the people we know in real life and meandering through friends’ lists. I don’t know anyone who’s had a credible love connection off Facebook, but I’m sure it’s happened.
Would you believe that people still treat sites like Match, eHarmony, and that dreadful blackpeoplemeet.com with a very stiff side eye? According to Match’s promos, 1 in 5 couples that meet on Match wind up in serious long-term relationships. Yet there was another study that said Facebook is responsible for 1/3 of all recent divorce proceedings. While those are 2 extremes on the spectrum of “best places to meet your next prospect”, it’s a wonder why people, mainly the fellas, are still not approaching the online dating hustle correctly.
For starters, you can’t treat online dating as the seedy, packed, overpriced club that you attend every Friday. Smooth 1-liners and narcissism is a quick way to get deleted and blocked on a dating site. I met my current girlfriend via online dating and we got through the bullshit very quickly. Truth be told, she’d tell you that the guy I was during our 1st few messages and emails is the guy I am 2.5 yrs later. I lucked out and met her when Yahoo personals still existed, so it didn’t cost me an arm and a leg. But still, if you choose to pay to use a dating site, you have to treat it as if you’re shopping for a mechanic. You want someone honest, trustworthy, and willing to work with you when times get rough. You can be direct and straightforward without overselling yourself and coming off douche.
But the Facebook/Twitter holla…mannnnnn listen!
As much as women try to front and fake, they quench their thirsts in the privacy of inboxes and DMs. The difference between men, women, and social networking hook ups is that most women gather up intel before they take that well thought out swan dive. They pay attention to what you post, the type of people you’re friends with, the interests you have in common, even your grammar. Women be studyyyyyying man (Dave Chapelle voice). And when they do engage your inner Marcus Graham, they approach it in an inconspicuous manner. Before you know it, you’re getting notifications about comments on photos you don’t even remember taking with said woman.
Guys, on the other hand, we don’t have time for all that. If she looks good, if she appears to be able to put together a coherent sentence, and if we know (even if it’s just virtually) some of the same people, we jump feet 1st. Why? Because it’s easy to do. Over on Twitter, women constantly set up the thirst traps talking about how they want a guy who’s different or my personal favorite “I just want a guy that’s real, b”. Although I don’t follow too many dudes, I kinda get the feeling that there’s many guys who concoct an online personality in their head that will produce attention from women; positive or negative. And they just run the court, hoping for an alley-oop.
In a nutshell, any and every social networking site can be used as a dating site. When you have such a mass amount of people, uniting through politics, music, or sports, you’re bound to strike up a conversation with someone who you may not have met otherwise. Regardless of the site you choose to use to find your next love connection, remember that what you type can be traced back to you. Keep all unpleasant exchanges to yourself because us normal folks don’t wanna log on and see your relationship
implode go through a rough patch on our news feed.
Have you ever hooked up off Facebook? Have you ever tried a subscription service like Match or eHarmony? Do you think online hook ups are becoming more socially acceptable?