Lessons from Fly On The Wall

I admit it, I don’t read very often. I wish I did, but unless it’s about a subject I currently care about, I stay all the way out the Barnes & Noble paint. Thankfully, e-books are the new craze. I decided to delve into 1 from someone I could actually relate to. I can always appreciate a book that talks with me, instead of at me.

Fly On The Wall  is an introspective work from a fellow Hofstra alum, Streetz of SBM.org and StreetzTalk.net fame. You’ve probably seen his articles on a few other major blogs too. As a casual reader of SBM for the past 5-6 months, I was interested to see what the writers offer up that’s not directly tied into the site or sex/relationships related. Gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised.

As with any piece of subjective prose, FOTW is broken down into varying themes. Streetz takes you on a journey through his process of personal growth, told through a collection of “aha” moments. Here’s just a few gems that I took away from reading it

* The cool kids then are the weak ones now: Back in high school, there was that 1 defined crew that had the flyest clothes and the most expensive gadgets. They were front and center on everything fresh. What they lacked in personality and sense of humor, they made up for in the tangible things to orchestrate a believable facade. Yet when you turn that tassle, that’s when you really see a power shift. The thing is when we’re in high school, the cool kids are all about the right now. It’s seldom that you see the cool kids turn into anything but average adults. The kids who flew under the radar and were seen as unpopular back in the day are  the ones who will either sign your check or let you hold something when sh!t gets real. (Sidebar: I saw a dude I went to high school with the other night working in Maggiano’s. He went from being a 3 letter athlete, C student to serving at a restaurant. It was a real life example that I won’t raise my kids to thrive on being the “cool kid” when they’re that age)

* Success is defined by your ability to bend and never break: I’m fortunate to have absorbed so much from my dad as I got older, both good and bad. In FOTW, Streetz talks about how society and the people around us try to manufacture what being a man is. Hundreds of books have been best-sellers based on the premise that if you do A, B, and C, you’ll be set. But the truth is the definition of manhood is born out of the experiences you learn from. This generation is being raised in predominantly father-less households, which leaves much to be desired when it comes to positive male role models. To me, being a father is merely a scientific label; either it’s your DNA or it’s not. But being a dad requires time, accountability, responsibility, and sharing your experiences so that your children will turn out better than you. In my opinion, the greatest lesson a dad can give his children, especially his son, is to be humble. Humility will take you incredibly far in this unpredictable game of chess life.

* Your girl’s closest guy friend is your best ally in a relationship: I firmly believe that men and women can be platonic friends. I have a few female friends where we didn’t meet under the pretense of “I’m gonna play it cool until we’re watching Love Jones and that scene comes up I get the green light.” Sometimes members of the opposite sex just meet, click on a mutual ground, and develop a great respect for 1 another. There are guys who don’t trust their girlfriend’s male best friend, especially if he’s a good looking dude. More often than not, it’s out of sheer insecurity. But Streetz brought up a great point that I’d never considered. Women, ya’ll gotta chill when your current man asks about that close male homey! I’m a fan of full disclosure. Yet I equally believe in discretion. Even if you kissed your close guy homey 5+ years ago after a quick Patron shower at homecoming, your current man does not need to know that. Regardless of how hard a dude tries to front about how he’s not worried or threatened by your male friends, he cares ALOT! On the flip, as a man meeting your girlfriend’s XY amigo, give the dude the benefit of the doubt. When it comes to disagreements or your “what’s her prob?” moments of confusion, that guy who you think is your arch-nemesis can be your saving grace in a way her female friends can’t.

Overall, I highly recommend this e-book. Although Streetz is talking about his experiences, the lessons that come out of them are universal. It’s not a how-to or book that sets out to teach you something new. But I still feel like the goal he set out to reach was flawlessly executed

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2 comments

    1. Super throwback lol You did great work w/ FOTW…miss your writing over at SBM, but congrats on all of the hosting opps! Keep rising

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