5 Things I’ve Learned While Not Having Sex

It’s been a long time that I’ve written about my sex life in great detail. The reason for that is there wasn’t much to tell. However, this year I’ve been struggling with my celibacy.

Around my birthday, a woman offered to cook dinner for me. It seemed innocuous enough but I still had reservations about it. The truth was I didn’t trust myself around women. It had become increasingly more difficult to not be overrun with sexual thoughts. My heart and mind were in one place but my body wanted to respond the way a human body naturally responds to pleasurable stimuli. Not only was it a conflict of emotions, it was a conflict spiritually.

I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be celibate. I gradually made the decision to stop viewing sex as an automatic expectation in a relationship, though. I also decided to stop using sex as an escape.

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Black Women Dominated The Olympics And White America Still Doesn’t Get It

2016 has entered the record books as one of the greatest years for sports of all time. The Olympics is the summer’s pinnacle–this year, particularly for black America.

After controversy in the semifinals, the women’s 4×100 relay stamped their ticket to the final. They added 100m Silver medalist Tori Bowie as the anchor. Bowie, who clocked in 10.83 seconds in that final has had a tremendous season. I saw her in the trials and  expected her to have an impact on Team USA’s quest for gold one more time in the relay.

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Watching how far of a gap the USA women’s relay team had between them and the rest of the world was astonishing, but not surprising.

The pure domination that black women exuded from the beginning of the Olympics was undeniable and exhilarating to witness.

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Photo Post #11: Getting Out Of My Head

This summer has seemed particularly long. I’ve been working a lot and haven’t had much time for anything else. It’s paying off though because I recently came into a job promotion that was unexpected. As a contracted opportunity, it’d put a few extra thousand dollars in my pocket. The problem is agreeing to it would inevitably pull me away from the career that’s always been my passion.

Earlier this year, my mind was made up professionally. After my trip to IMG, future plans were clear and financially, everything was starting to align as well. With my second job, I was able to save the money needed to pour into my passion. But when my contract was up and the review went well, what was supposed to be a short-term gig turned into a viable career option.

With any decision that involves money, I weighed all possible outcomes. Along with some personal things that happened within the same week, I was emotionally drained. It was as if divine intervention had taken control since my boy hit me up with dates for a group trip that had been on the table all summer. Given what I was going through, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

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The Outer Banks in North Carolina reminds of certain parts of the Hamptons, except much more affordable. My boy’s family has owned a house there for about 30 years and recently did a ton of renovations on it. The house and the neighborhood was pretty amazing! What I appreciated was how normal it felt. Even though it’s a vacation home and the beach was literally in the backyard, everything about it felt like being at home. I didn’t feel out of place or uncomfortable. That helped immensely with the anxiety I was already smothered by

What was funny is I’d gone to Vermont with this same group back in February. I’d had a conversation about career plans then because I’d recently graduated. When the same person asked for an update, it was nice to have good news to share. It wasn’t about impressing anyone. It was solely about having confidence and peace in the direction I was moving in.

Sometimes, getting out of the house is exactly what you need to re-focus your thoughts.

 

Post Revisited: You Actually Do Need To Teach Someone How To Love (You)

Twitter is a fascinating place. And by fascinating, I mean, it’s a platform where you see a lot of crazy opinions that you didn’t know existed. I log on almost everyday to a slew of opinions that throw me for a loop.

This week, it was an interview in which of LaLa Anthony said the following:.

It’s not rare to meet a guy that you are head-over-heels for, but he’s lacking the affection or compassion that you may need. He may think that showing you that he loves you means buying you a pair of shoes, when you may just want more alone time, surprises that require a bit more thoughtfulness or a hand-written note that makes you smile every so often. Communication is key.

At face value, there’s nothing wrong with what she said. Yet her comments sparked a Twitter debate in which some women took the stance of “aww hellllll nah, I ain’t teaching no man how to love me. He should just know.”

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Nobody Cares About Playing At Home

LeBron James lives and breathes “the ‘Land”. For most players, where they grew up has very little significance in the decision of where they’ll earn their salary.

For the past year and a half, people have been discussing and weighing in on the possibilities of where Kevin Durant — the summer’s premiere unrestricted free agent — would sign. Those conversations intensified once he and Russell Westbrook literally handed over their chance to play in the NBA Finals.

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The one team that some people expected to pursue Durant is also the one team that’ll be missing from meetings in New York this week.

Kevin Durant has never been silent about his adoration for all things DC related. He’s never shied away from his roots. However, the Washington Wizards are officially out of the running in the Durant sweepstakes. In fact, Durant has never once said that DC was a desired or possible destination at this point in his career. That didn’t stop fans from being hopeful about a reunion.

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We Could Never Appreciate Muhammad Ali in 2016

America’s relationship with sports, more specifically sports heroes, is one of convenience and greed. Our memories of the greats are often served in palatable bits and pieces. This sentiment has been all over various social platforms since the untimely passing of the beloved Muhammad Ali.

It’s hard to say that the loss of Ali is sad because he lived a full life. But his death certainly calls attention to the collective conscience of America.

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Ali spent nearly a third of his life suffering from Parkinson’s Disease. To watch the champ — whose physique was truly a marvel in his prime — slowly deteriorate over such a long time is gut-wrenching. When I look at how this massive personality of a man shrank into relative seclusion, it’s reminiscent of how we tend to treat our legends after the sport they dedicated their lives to end.

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Understanding That Karma Doesn’t Work The Way You Want

Jorge Zimmerman is a repulsive, shameless, arrogant sociopath who can’t stay away from the spotlight, despite claims of fearing for his life and safety.

He continues to come back like a project roach. Zimmerman only exists on this planet as proof that he’s a soulless coward. To attempt to profit from a life he took is beyond reprehensible. But he also serves as a reminder that no matter how much bad a person does, sometimes karma plays us an unexpected hand.

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